What are the different types of abuse?
Physical:
- Any unwanted physical contact, e.g. kicking, punching, pulling, pushing, slapping, hitting, pulling hair, arm-twisting, squeezing hand or arm, choking, pushing up against the wall, pointing finger, poking
- Stopping her from leaving
- Restraining her in any way
- Standing to close
- Picking her up, holding or hugging when it is unwanted
- Shooting, murder
Sexual
- Forcing intercourse
- Forcing certain positions
- Total lack of intimacy
- Adultery, cheating, sleeping around
- Constantly pestering for intercourse
- Treating her as a sex object
- Intimidation by knowledge or reputation
- Getting back at her by refusing to have intercourse
- Using intercourse as a basis for an argument
- Put downs
- Being rough
- Pornography
Social
- Not taking responsibility for the children or using children as a weapon
- Abusing children physically and sexually
- Embarrassment in front of the children
- Putting her down or ignoring her in public
- Stopping her from seeing friends
- Using as a continual joke or putdown about her with others
- Choosing friends or family over her
- Not taking her out
- Keeping her busy in the kitchen, i.e. during a party
- Change of personality with others
- Not being nice to her friends
- Make a “scene”
Financial
- Withholding money
- Spending money foolishly or beyond means
- Not spending money on special occasion e.g. her birthday
- Making the decisions in terms of how the money is spent without her input
Emotional/Verbal/Psychological
- Insults, yelling, name calling, verbal threats
- Intimidation, playing “mind games”
- Overpowering her emotions
- Bringing up old issues and arguments
- Degrading her
- Inappropriate expression of jealousy
- Turning around a situation against her
- Brainwashing
- Laughing in her face
- Raising your voice
- Silence, isolation, ignoring her
- Walking away from a discussion
- Refusing to deal with issues
- Pressuring her
- Lying
- Treating her as a child, putting her up on a pedestal
- Agreeing with her even though you don’t
- Manipulation, making her fearful
- Putting her or her family down
- Finding and verbalizing her faults, comparing her to other people
- Expecting her to conform to a role
- ‘Typical male chauvinistic dominance’
- Overly sarcastic or critical
- Lack of consideration for her opinions
- Trying to get the last word in
- Pre-violence cues
- Egging her on
- Disbelieving her
- Woman hating e.g. jokes, putdowns etc.
- Having a double standard for her
- Double bind, e.g. telling her one thing but really meaning another
- Unflattering or belittling comments about her physical appearance
- Coming home drunk, not coming home
- Not taking responsibility or taking away her responsibilities
- Not keeping commitments
- Doing the opposite of what you said you’d do
- Making a fool of her
- Being rude
- Making threats to partner about yourself, e.g. “I’ll kill myself if you…”
- Starting arguments
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