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What are some of the early warning signs of dating violence?

Are you going out with someone who…

  • Is jealous and possessive towards you, won’t let you have friends, checks up on you, won’t accept breaking up.
  • Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions; doesn’t take your opinion seriously.
  • Is scary. You worry about how they will react to things you say or do. Threatens you, uses or owns weapons.
  • Is violent: has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly brags about mistreating others.
  • Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary around sex. Thinks women or girls are sex objects. Attempts to manipulate or guilt trip you by saying “If you really loved me you would…” Gets too serious about the relationship too fast.
  • Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them.
  • Blames you when they mistreat you. Says you provoked them, pressed their buttons, make them do it, lead them on.
  • Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems. “Girls just don’t understand me”
  • Believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive.
  • Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you they were worried for your safety.

Fitzpatrick, D. (1992). Outreach to Teens: A Manual for Counsellors who Work with Teen Victims of Violence Against Women.

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