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What are the different types of abuse?

Physical:

  • Any unwanted physical contact, e.g. kicking, punching, pulling, pushing, slapping, hitting, pulling hair, arm-twisting, squeezing hand or arm, choking, pushing up against the wall, pointing finger, poking
  • Stopping her from leaving
  • Restraining her in any way
  • Standing to close
  • Picking her up, holding or hugging when it is unwanted
  • Shooting, murder

Sexual

  • Forcing intercourse
  • Forcing certain positions
  • Total lack of intimacy
  • Adultery, cheating, sleeping around
  • Constantly pestering for intercourse
  • Treating her as a sex object
  • Intimidation by knowledge or reputation
  • Getting back at her by refusing to have intercourse
  • Using intercourse as a basis for an argument
  • Put downs
  • Being rough
  • Pornography

Social

  • Not taking responsibility for the children or using children as a weapon
  • Abusing children physically and sexually
  • Embarrassment in front of the children
  • Putting her down or ignoring her in public
  • Stopping her from seeing friends
  • Using as a continual joke or putdown about her with others
  • Choosing friends or family over her
  • Not taking her out
  • Keeping her busy in the kitchen, i.e. during a party
  • Change of personality with others
  • Not being nice to her friends
  • Make a “scene”

Financial

  • Withholding money
  • Spending money foolishly or beyond means
  • Not spending money on special occasion e.g. her birthday
  • Making the decisions in terms of how the money is spent without her input

Emotional/Verbal/Psychological

  • Insults, yelling, name calling, verbal threats
  • Intimidation, playing “mind games”
  • Overpowering her emotions
  • Bringing up old issues and arguments
  • Degrading her
  • Inappropriate expression of jealousy
  • Turning around a situation against her
  • Brainwashing
  • Laughing in her face
  • Raising your voice
  • Silence, isolation, ignoring her
  • Walking away from a discussion
  • Refusing to deal with issues
  • Pressuring her
  • Lying
  • Treating her as a child, putting her up on a pedestal
  • Agreeing with her even though you don’t
  • Manipulation, making her fearful
  • Putting her or her family down
  • Finding and verbalizing her faults, comparing her to other people
  • Expecting her to conform to a role
  • ‘Typical male chauvinistic dominance’
  • Overly sarcastic or critical
  • Lack of consideration for her opinions
  • Trying to get the last word in
  • Pre-violence cues
  • Egging her on
  • Disbelieving her
  • Woman hating e.g. jokes, putdowns etc.
  • Having a double standard for her
  • Double bind, e.g. telling her one thing but really meaning another
  • Unflattering or belittling comments about her physical appearance
  • Coming home drunk, not coming home
  • Not taking responsibility or taking away her responsibilities
  • Not keeping commitments
  • Doing the opposite of what you said you’d do
  • Making a fool of her
  • Being rude
  • Making threats to partner about yourself, e.g. “I’ll kill myself if you…”
  • Starting arguments

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